Once upon a time there was a girl called Jen.

Jen worked very hard in a very important job doing very important stuff for a company who liked very important stuff doing well. Jen was very good at doing this. Most of the time.

Being an anal retentive, Jen was typically a very organised individual, at least when it came down to cataloguing things like CDs, DVDs etc because Jen liked to have control over things. Jen was also a control freak but that is another story and nothing to do with this one. When Jen chose to purchase books for example, which over recent years had become a much more frequent pastime, Jen liked to make a note of it on Goodreads so that she could track what she had to read. If it were a preorder, Jen would duly make a note of it on her mobile phone calendar so that she knew when to expect the book and the charge to her credit card.

Jen was very clever like that.

Then one day, a little over a year ago, Jen caught an incurable disease.

That disease was called ‘book blogging’.

Since Jen caught ‘book blogging’ her organizational skills have gone to shit. On occasion, she will remember to write pre-orders in her diary but mostly she can’t be arsed and just kind of nods her head in a ‘fair play’ kind of gesture when she notices just how many books she has on pre-order with Amazon. Also, when Jen goes on Goodreads she invariably sits there with a frown thinking WTF! as she scrolls up and down to find the book she is about to read and swears blind she had added, before realising that actually she didn’t and she has waaaaaay more books than she realised in the TBR pile. Can anyone say ‘whoops Jen’?

Jen also does daft things like buying new books all the time, never able to walk past a bookshop without going in. Bookshop homing signal is one of the key symptoms of the disease ‘book blogging’. Jen also regularly visits a clinic that sufferers of ‘book blogging’ know as ‘Netgalley’. The ‘Netgalley’ clinic does not actually help sufferers of ‘book blogging’, it ritually mocks and taunts them until they have requested more books, forcing a self-perpetuating cycle of book envy (from fellow sufferers) and further recurring ‘book blogging’.

As a sufferer of ‘book blogging’, Jen spends most of her days now with a sneaky suspicion that she is being watched on social media, although she has no idea what is going on, as she cannot keep up with all of the notifications and retweets. She probably seems to ignore most people but really, Jen is brain-farting. A lot. Jen also has a permanent nagging feeling that there is something she is meant to be doing but can’t quite remember what. As far as Jen can see, aside from the social media symptoms, the disease ‘book blogging’ has become much like being at work. But fun. And without pay.

Jen still works very hard at her very important job doing very important stuff, but now she makes it fun by using it to settle some of the more alarming side effects of her disease ‘book blogging’. Jen does this by listening to audio books when she is doing long drives or really boring spreadsheets when she would otherwise fall asleep. This makes Jen very productive doing both her very important stuff and managing her disease.

Jen knows that she needs an intervention.

Jen doesn’t care.

Jen likes suffering from ‘book blogging’. Jen hopes that no cure is found.

Fellow sufferers of ‘book blogging’ provide all the support Jen needs. Jen isn’t that bothered about leaving an inheritance for family members as she is also a tightwad and so she is happy to keep managing the ‘book blogging’ symptoms by buying more books.

Jen likes books more than her family. Apart from her cats. They are okay.

Jen is happy.

Jen is ‘book blogging’.

If you do not want to be busy but happy, Jen recommends trying not to catch ‘book blogging’. If, like Jen, you like having fun, reading books, meeting wonderful people and driving your family and friends crazy with book recommendations, Jen knows there are far worse things to be suffering from.

Readers should note that the disease ‘book blogging’ can be contagious and it is easy to spread this to friends and family members if not carefully controlled. You have been warned…

©JenTheNutter 2017